I forget who is in charge

Things are lookin' rough. I keep losing hope in a future. I feel like I have no direction, no energy, and no desire. I forget who is in charge. I forget who has delivered me. I forget that I am sovereignly walking on this earth, and serving him because he has so mercifully allowed.

I am forgetting the character of God. Satan has gotten the best of me, and has trapped me in so many silly little snares that I never thought were possible, stripping me of hope for change.
I know that my God has conquered death. I know the purpose of biblical trials, but through a series of miniature small attacks, I have been worn down to a feckless, and spineless ambassador for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Love the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding? Whoops.

I think every Christian teenager to walk the earth, has clung on to this next verse at some point in their life. For the sake of being different, I avoided it at all costs :p I guess God is ready for me to conform :p

Jeremiah 29:11-For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Well this is depressing

I was on the phone with momma. We were talkin' about getting in to get an appointment for something while I was home for the wedding next week, and I told her that I didn't want to waste any of my three days home on that kind of thing. I told her I would take care of it in the summer.
pause...
We don't think that will be a reality.

I won't be home much if at all for quite some time, and that cuts me like a knife. The idea that I am stuck in Texas is awful. I'm the most homesick person I've ever met out here, and to be in a position where I won't be getting relief is awful.

I know that God has some big plans. I should be excited. I've been through worse before, and his glory is made known by it, but I feel like I will be doing this one with out the aide of people from back home.
Pray that I would remember God's promises and that I would have a positive outlook on things :) Thanks

Dusty-

Well now..

So I learned that I could make myself have profile info on this thingy and made some. (even though most of you know me already)

Other news... Jesus is in the business of teaching. Forever and always.
College Football is on ESPN a lot more (mostly draft stuff) and school is almost over!
Before I get off the subject of college football, here are my predictions in writing...

-Alabama is preseason ranked number 1, and for the first time in a long time, I think that ranking might stick around for a bit.
-FSU has at least 9 wins.
-U.F. is a 2 loss team (If only more..)
-Miami will be ACC champs :/ ( I will cry)
-Baylor will make a bowl game.

Well I was listening to one of my main men, J pizzy (John Piper) on youtube, and I came upon one segment titled "prayer does things"
A verse popped out at me in the sermon, James 4:2 (I'm gonna go ahead add v.3 to it...)

^"2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. ³When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

I forget that -
A.) God is a kinda a big deal, and that I should ask him for more things...
B.) I need to look at my heart in why I'm asking things. Whose kingdom is this benefiting? Who gets the glory?

A black preacher I saw speaking to homeless people under a bridge once said "Don't be treatin' Gawd like he's yo Cosmic Suga' daddy!" Obviously this made me laugh, but the wording has stuck with me 2 years later! I don't know how this is relevant but I thought I'd throw this in there..

Anyway- You need to ask God for things "you do not have, because we do not ask"
Remember that Dusty...

Pray for me now because I am asking for a bunchhhhh. I have a ton on my plate, and I want Jesus to be all over every single decision. ;)

Do everything out of love

Reality Check!! Dustin you are being ridiculous...
Vain glory, passion, and emotion got in the way today. :/
Soulforce, a Christian Gay Lesbian advocacy group, came to Baylor this week to promote their agenda. They think that the bible supports homosexuality, and that they should not be considered sinners. Well if you know me at all, then you would understand that I DO NOT understand the homosexual lifestyle. Feminine men bother me more than your average bear. I'm a scruffy dude, who wears shirts without sleeves, considers collard greens as his favorite food, and thinks Dixie is the national anthem. In my mind, men aren't supposed to take the back seat in marriage, men aren't supposed to match their clothes, men should not play flute, and men SHOULD marry women!

Things I also dislike- Ignorant Christians! They do lots and lots of damage..
About a year ago, I honestly couldn't tell you why homosexuality was "bad". I heard that the bible said no, and my conscience said no, so I went on an investigation to know why I believed what I believed. I read books. Crazy books. I even read one called Gays Under Grace.. (that was an embarrassing trip to the library) I wanted to see why they believed, what they believed so I could properly refute it. After about a month of study, I had formulated an opinion based on scripture, as to why God condemns it, and how to help someone defend the bible in today's culture.

So with all of this head knowledge, what was I ready to do?!?!?! Convert these people cause I loved them, cared for their souls and wanted them in heaven one day? No. I'm sure it was an underlying thought, but what I really wanted to do was walk down there and whoop them with some scriptures, tear up their isogetical thinking, and make them run home with their tales between their legs.

Pathetic huh? Yeah it is.

My natural instinct reared its ugly head. My first thoughts were not to love these people. Love was very much an after thought.
So how is Dusty doing on this whole love thing? Got some work to do ;)

Please pray for me this week! Pray that I would use this head knowledge in a loving manner as I meet with them on campus, and pray that I would continue to be in the refiners fire.

Dusty-

P.S. I'm starting to realize how poor of a writer I am now that I type things out and re-read them.
So much for my book idea :p

Weakkkkkk

Dustin sucks at being a Christian sometimes :/

Thy word have I hid in my heart that I may not sin against thee..

So about 9 months ago, I was home doing a bible study. It was towards the end of summer, gettin' ready to go back to school, probably smelled like gas and grass from mowing, with slurpee stains all up and down my sleeve less t-shirt. (I misssss home)

The message was on the word of God acting as a weapon. We had talked to them a year prior about Ephesians and the armor of God, but I wanted to embellish on one of the pieces, a tiny bit more. The sword.

The Greek translation for the word "sword" (specifically used in Ephesians 6) refers to a sword that would be found on a Roman solider. It was very small, almost like a dagger, and was meant to be drawn out swiftly and used for quick multiple stabs.

Think about that!

This is how we are instructed to use the word of God. It should be readily available, quick to throw out, and have multiple references for you to "stab" into the enemy.

After saying all this to the boys, you'd think my sword would be sharp.... Well, It's not sharp enough, quick enough, nor readily available for my new battles. :/

As Christians, your battle WILL change. Satan is a fierce adversary. He is a lion seeking whom he may devour. He doesn't let up after you whip on him once. You may beat him on one battle field, but the war is not over! As a Christian, I can't just sit on a handful of victories, and think that the war is won! I need to keep sharp, and prepare my weapons for battle!

P.S. I know I used the word "you" a lot, and that's a literary no no. That's why I'm not a writer. Maybe the Lord will bless me with a wife who knows how to write stuff, and can help me with that book I wanna write one day ;) Oh and she can help me with comma's too..


Pray that Deasty boy would get his game on and start using some scripture ;)
Pray that this generation of Christians would use the word of God to define Christian living, NOT Christian culture, and pray that I could have strength for the fight. ;)


Dusty-

the greatest of these is love...

2 years ago, I was driving Delilah across the state lines on the journey from Florida to Texas. For those of you who don't know who Delilah is, she is my girl. My 1974 Volkswagen Bus. (yes, a hippie bus...) She took the 20 hour trip in 4 days... That was 4 days of constant prayer, constant devotion with God, and 4 days of taking in the beauty of God's creation.

As I sat on this little highway in Louisiana, chugging along at 45 mph, I prayed to God that he would show me something. Nothing specific, but simply that God would speak directly to me. I had a closeness and intimacy that I had been seeking for quite some time, and I was ready for God to give me some direction. At dusk, I approached the end of the little country road to see a small church off in the distance. It looked like one of those tiny baptist churches that had been built in the 1920's, with rotting white boards, that holds 60 on a good Sunday. The church sign simply said "Do everything out of love". That hit me like a brick. I knew exactly what God was trying to tell me. I knew that the word "everything" needed some work..

Looooooovee. It's a tricky thing. Well at least for me. I have always felt like had a greater capacity for love. I sat with the kid who every one picked on at lunch, helped out the old lady down the street, and other stuff like that. Yet there is so much about it I didn't know! I feel like I had understood a false version of love. Maybe even a selfish version of love...

With that mission in mind I went back to school. How did I do? Well I thought about it... That's for sure. I can say I attempted, and I got a substantial amount of fruit from it. But I have defiantly NOT succeeded in my mission. I have tons of work to do. Motives, and consistency are still issues I have yet to resolve. If you all could pray for me as I continue to learn to unconditionally, like Jesus loves me. Oh yes, and I should mention.... I'm working on better understanding the depths of Gods love ;)

This is not how I thought my 2nd blog would go... but I'm glad I'm finally doing this online instead of in little books that I fill up and loose :p
In other news, I'm re-reading, and relearning some of the simple simple simple principles of God's word. A recent example is the story of the woman at the well. I did a bible study about 3 weeks ago, and the idea of living water has been on my mind ever since. Silly huh? I learned about that when I was like 6?!?! Now God is showing me something about it?? psh... (that's how I felt at first. Then I felt like an idiot for not taking the devotional seriously the first time)

Side note.. how annoying was it for our Sunday school teachers to have to answer questions like, "Does she not drink water anymore?" "I'm a Christian, can I stop drinking water now?"
Hahaha ohh 1st grade Sunday school. How do those teachers do it??

So for Dustin... Pray that I would better understand God's love, and that I would better understand some of the fundamental principles God has been RE-teaching me :)

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom


Dusty-